


You're so very special

by joshdunistherealest



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Child Abuse, Fluff, Hospitalization, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Sexual Abuse, Speech Disorders, patient!tyler, recreational therapist!jenna, recreational therapist!josh, slight angst in future chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-10 17:55:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7855189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshdunistherealest/pseuds/joshdunistherealest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh is a therapeutic recreation starting a new job at a local hospital, but everything changes when he meets a patient with a deep mystery clouding around him like he was draped in silk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Salutations

**Author's Note:**

> hello! let me know how many chapters you want this to be/ what you want to happen in the story! You can prompt me at my tumblr: dunangelic! this can be fluff or fluff and smut, depending on what you guys want!
> 
> The fic title is from Creep by Radiohead

"Josh Dun, I'm starting my first uh, real day here. " Josh flashes his I.D badge for the two men working at the front of the hospital, his hands only shaking slightly.  
  
"Good for you, kid. Don't really see a lot of fresh faces." The burlier of the two spoke, giving Josh a little nod in the direction of the elevator. "Third floor. From then on you'll run into Jenna Black, she'll fill you in."  
  
Josh gives a weak smile, clipping the I.D badge back to the front of his lilac scrubs and heading into the elevator. He pondered the possibilities of how Jenna would probably look. Probably in her late thirties, greying hair, maybe a couple of kids that are graduated. What he didn't expect was a petite blonde girl with a voice so sweet it made candy jealous.  
  
"Hey! You must be Josh!" Jenna chimes, and before the elevator door has time to open fully, she's pulling Josh into the small little hallway. "I'm so happy to meet you! Corporate is always talking about how great you are with your patients, so when your name popped up in conversation, I just had to get you in here as soon as possible!"  
  
"Ah, geez, uhm. Thank you. That's very kind." Josh almost gets dizzy watching Jenna zoom out in front of him.   
  
"So, I'll need you to get started right away, is that cool? Is that okay?" She questions, looking up at Josh with deep blue ocean eyes.   
  
"What's a job without work?" Josh says, his tone wavering on scared and energetic. Nervous, maybe?  
  
"Oh, uhm. . . also, you'll need to cover this up." Jenna taps on the vibrant tattoo leading down Josh's forearm, a sympathetic look on her face. "I had to cover up mine too. But no worries! We have extra undershirts in the back. C'mon! Let's get to work!"  
  


* * *

  
Josh ended up changing after a quick conversation about protocol with Jenna, tugging the long sleeves of the white undershirt to cover his tattoo. He made sure it looked right under his scrubs before heading out of the employee changing room.  
  
His first few patients went okay. Alright, they went more than okay, they were great. One little girl in particular made him laugh so hard he almost cried with simply a silly pun on cats.   
  
They were slowly winding down to the last few doors of the wing, but Jenna stopped him before he could open the door, simply shaking her head. "Uh, I just have to warn you about this one. Y'know legally I have to disclose anything that could get you hurt." Jenna peers through the window of the door, sighing deeply through her nose before pressing a thin finger to the glass. "This is one of our most dangerous patients. He was sent here for auditory, visual-Hell, any kind of hallucination you can imagine. He seems to think he has a whole different alter ego. Blurry? Blurryface? I don't know, something like that."  
  
Josh takes a look in the direction of her finger, and finds a boy, curled up in his bed with about a dozen blankets on him. He felt a little rush of sympathy for the boy swirl in his chest. "He can't be that bad. How old is he?"  
  
"Eighteen." Jenna glances over at Josh for a moment. "He's not as bad as, I don't know, a murderer or something. He gets his days though."  
  
Josh furrows his brows. "Why is he still in the child mental ward? Shouldn't he move to the adult ward?"  
  
"No." Jenna shoots a glare as cold as ice at him. "You kidding me? He'd die in there. He fears even the simple things, like cars zooming outside or the sound of our lunch trays. He's just a baby and. . .his parents want nothing to do with him."  
  
"Oh. " Josh frowns, pressing his hand to the window. "Was he always like this?"  
  
"Not in the slightest." Jenna plops down on a little rolling chair sitting behind the desk at the nurse's station, propping her feet up on it. "He used to be a happy little dude his parents say, until one summer he just. . .got really sad, and it all went downhill."  
  
"Makes me sick how they just leave him to himself like that. " Josh hovers his hand over the doorknob. "I'm gonna go in."  
  
"Josh, wait." Jenna grabs his arm, bolting up quickly to shut off the lights before they both made their way into the room.   
  
The boy scrambles to Jenna's side as soon as he sees her, ducking behind her legs to hide from Josh.  
  
Josh just gives him a little wave, and the boy curls his knees to his chest, huffing.   
  
"Hey honeybear, this is Josh. He's here to help you, okay?" Jenna coos, fluffing his hair. "Josh, this is Tyler."  
  
Josh kneels down beside Tyler, slowly reaching out a hand. "Hey-" Tyler whines when he moves closer, moving his back up against the wall. "Nono, hey, I won't hurt you."  
  
The dark eyed boy tilts his head to the side at Josh's outstretched hand, just blankly staring him up and down. He still looked fearful though, if his blown pupils meant anything.  
  
"I'm gonna take good care of you, okay?" Josh sits down fully in front of Tyler, looking down before pulling a little wrapped hard candy out of his scrub pocket. "Here, take it."  
  
Tyler accepts the candy greedily, frail but steady hands unwrapping it carefully. He watched Josh with every movement he made, still making intense eye contact as he popped the candy in his mouth.   
  
"There we go, you're doing so good." Josh grins, tapping Tyler on the shoulder before he stood. "Meet with you tomorrow, Tyguy."  
  
Tyler hesitates, but nods, distracting himself by suckling on the strawberry flavored candy.   
  


* * *

  
"You're so amazing with him." Jenna sighs, batting dark eyelashes. "It was hard to find someone who could handle him- As you can probably tell, I'm usually his go-to when he needs help or food or pretty much anything."  
  
"He seems to like you a lot, Jen." Josh reassures, following Jenna to the coffee machine.  
  
"Yeah, well." The blonde grabs a cup, glancing up at Josh as she pours coffee in. She takes her coffee with two sugars and two creamers, much unlike Josh, whose coffee choice is literally diabetes.  
  
Once Josh finished pouring a half container of sugar into his own styrofoam cup, Jenna scoffed, looking at him in disbelief. "You must really not like bitter coffee."  
  
"I'm more of a 'sweeter-the-better' kinda dude." Josh jokes, leaning on the coffee counter.   
  
  
  
  



	2. Mockingbird

Josh strode into the hospital with a newfound confidence the next day, quickly flashing his badge before being directed to the elevators again.  


He was scheduled to do speech therapy with Tyler today, which both scared him and interested him. He hadn't heard Tyler speak yet, and attaching a voice to a face helped him stay organized in his treatments.  


The elevator sounded as he made his way through his assigned ward. He feels a small tap on his shoulder, twisting around on his heel quickly to face the culprit.  


"Uh, small change of plans, Tyler isn't really doing well today." Jenna mumbled slightly under her breath, nervously gripping papers in her hands. She had a red splash of what looked like juice down the front of her scrubs, along with a developing bruise on her left forearm, slowly beginning to turn purple. Josh eyed her warily.  


"Did he hurt you?"  


"No, it was an accident." Jenna sets down her papers at the nursing station.  


"That doesn't look like an accident." Josh pouts, folding his arms over his chest.  


"I tried to bring him food and he launched his cup at me, he's very sensitive." Jenna huffed. "I'm gonna go get changed. You can go check on Tyler, just don't touch him, okay?"  


"Affirmative." Josh nods his head at her, hesitantly making his way down to Tyler's door. He knocked once, then twice, before heading in.  


Tyler was curled up in the same spot as yesterday, but this time, he was completely lost to weak sobbing and whimpering, clenching and unclenching his fists. Josh felt his heart break, and he sat on the bed, inches away from Tyler. He knew this was probably going to end with him getting a swift punch to the jaw, but he didn't care, he wanted to know if Tyler was alright.  


"Hey Ty, you alright lil' dude?" Josh asked calmly, his voice tender and full of compassion.  


Tyler shifted farther away from him, blackened pupils widening again. Josh quickly caught on to his fear and stood up, moving across the room to sit in a chair.  


"I'm not gonna hurt you, see?" Josh raises his hands, and the other male completely disregards him, turning his back. "Does it make you feel better to not look at me, Ty?"  


Tyler stays silent, per usual.  


"That's okay, you don't have to look at me, honey." Josh coos, looking down at the clipboard settled on the end table beside him. Tyler's crying subsides at the pet name, and he visibly curls in on himself, peeking at Josh for a few seconds.  


Josh gives a little wave, and the boy blushes, turning back around. Josh crosses one leg over the other, and writes a few things down on the behavioral section of his paperwork.  


_Patient is slightly distressed at any form of physical contact, but verbal encouragement seems to be fine._  


"If you don't mind me asking, can you tell me how you got here?"  


Silence. Tyler presses his lips together in a straight line, unseen by Josh.  


Josh begins writing again, clicking his purple pen.  


_Patient refuses to speak when prompted, but does not seem to be violent in his ways._  


_Patient did harm a female staff member earlier in the day when offered food, though._  


_~~Dangerous?~~ Simply misunderstood._  


Josh takes a moment to study Tyler's appearance again. "Any new scars, cuts, or bruises? If you'd prefer not to speak, point them out for me."  


"Mmn." Tyler mumbles, pulling his knees to his chest. He ever so slowly removes a blanket from his bare shoulders, exposing a few fresh scrapes.  


"What did you do this with, Tyler?" Josh slowly stands to his feet, tip-toeing over with paperwork in hand.  


Tyler then shakes his head, pounding lightly on it with one of his hands. Josh quickly taps the bed beside him.  


"No, Ty." Josh commands, and watches as Tyler backs down, lowering his hands to his lap. He hovers careful hands over the scrapes. "Is it okay if I touch your back?"  


Tyler buries his head in his hands, trying his best to scoot away.  


"It wont hurt, and I won't take very long, I promise." Josh reassures, smiling gently when he sees Tyler nod. He didn't really care that he was going against Jenna's clear orders at this point. It was his job to examine him, so he'd take all the opportunity he could get to find out about this strange boy.  


Josh takes his time dragging his fingers over the skin, pressing gently to see the extent of each injury. The pads of his fingers trace over both old and new scars, and before no time at all, Josh's warm, calloused hands are removed, Tyler grumbling in resentment.  


_A few new cuts on the middle of the back, patient will not disclose how they got there._  


_Use of security camera footage is recommended for the safety of this patient._  


_Signed CTRS and RN,_  
_Joshua Dun._  


Josh tucks his pen inside his scrub pocket, pulling out some candy for Tyler and setting it on the end of his bed.  


"See you later, Tyler. I'll be back before dinner time, just hang tight okay?"  


Josh quietly shuts the door behind him, breathing out in exasperation once he was completely out of the room.

* * *

"Woah, he let you touch him?" Jenna looked absolutely taken aback. It was their lunch break, and both her and Josh were reclining in cafeteria seats, blabbing on about their little run-ins with Tyler.  
  
"Yeah, it surpised me too. I felt almost like he was going to turn around and bite me." Josh snickered, looking down at his phone and replying to a text from his mom.   
  
"I thought I told you not to! You could get hurt!" Jenna raised her voice slightly, but kept it still in a talking range. She punctuated her sentence with a sip from her raspberry tea. Josh could smell the sweetness from across the table.   
  
"I know, I know, and I'm sorry. I just felt like I needed to, he was hurt, Jen."   
  
"He was? Do you know what from? He didn't show me. . ." Jenna stirred her tea with the teabag.  
  
"They look like scratches. Possibly from his fingernails. " Josh continued to scroll through his phone, only occasionally making eye contact. Eye contact really freaked him out if it was prolonged for more than merely a millisecond.   
  
Jenna groaned, rubbing at her forehead. "That means we need to cut them again, which I need your help to do. It takes about four nurses to restrain him and another to actually cut his nails. Judging by the fact you're the only one who he's let touch him in about two years, you'll have to do it. Also, you're on shower duty." Jenna rambled, tapping her nails on the table before rising to her feet, tea still in hand.   
  
"That's a lot of responsibility in the span of an hour or two, isn't it?" Josh scoffed in disbelief.

"It's either you, or we sedate him." The blonde then saunters off, leaving Josh to contemplate with his head down on the cafe table.

Working here was going to be harder than he thought.

 


	3. Your skin (makes me cry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited

It was Josh's first day off, and he had decided to do a little working out.

Earbuds in, and world out, he runs on the treadmill stored in the spare room of his apartment.

His daily rockout to Blink-182 was quickly interrupted by the familiar ring of his phone. Josh audibly groaned in resentment when the call name flashes on the screen.

It was the hospital, probably calling him about missing paperwork. He took out his earbuds and slid the call button to green.

Before he could manage a simple hello, Jenna's voice rushed out of the phone. "We need you. NOW."

"Woah, woah wait a sec, Jen. What happened?" Josh stopped the treadmill, the beep faintly sounding in the background.

"There's something wrong with Tyler. He won't eat anything, and he hit another staff member." Jenna sighed, almost sounding on the verge of tears. "He won't stop scratching at his skin."

Josh was at a loss of words, rubbing his hand over his face. "Can't you get the doctors to look at him?"

"They want to discharge him if he harms another person. I doubt he'll take a liking to the doctor." Jenna pauses "He likes you, Josh."

". . .Alright, I'll be there in a bit. Tell Tyler I'm headed his way if you're able to get him to listen." Josh tugged off his sweaty tank top and basketball shorts. His phone was tucked between his ear and shoulder as he shifted through his closet. God dammit, all his scrubs were dirty.

Grey shirt and black jeans it was then. After all, he technically wasn't supposed to work that day.

"You're a godsend. See you then?" Jenna said, her tone softening.

"Yeah, see you." Josh hung up, tucking his phone into his pocket.

 

* * *

 

Josh quickly makes his way to Tylers room in the hospital, making sure to give a wave to Jenna.

Once he enters the room, he's bombarded by thrown pillows, and a hysterical Tyler, eyes wide like a deer in the headlights.

Josh catches the pillows, shutting the door with his back. "Hey you, it's okay." His voice wavers slightly.

Tyler's breath picks up and he whines openly, picking at his skin. "Hey, hey hey hey. . .It's alright."

Josh crept over to the side of the bed, only to be knocked back by Tyler throwing his arms around his waist in a hug, fists gripping his shirt.

Josh just stands in shocked silence, wrapping his arms back around Tyler. He felt him cry against his skin, and in response, he runs his fingers through fluffy, short brown hair.

"Hey Ty?" Josh moves away from the hug to kneel in front of him, gently stroking tears away from his eyes with a finger. "You think you could eat for me?"

Tyler avoids Josh's gaze, but nods, waiting as Josh grabs the ignored lunch tray beside his bed.

"You're such a good boy. " Josh praises, setting the tray down beside a now flustered Tyler, covering his face. "Aww, come on, you can't eat when you've got that pretty face covered, can you?"

Tyler ever so slowly drops his hands from his red face, opening his mouth as Josh raises a spoonful of apple sauce. Josh blinks. "Oh, you don't want to do this yourself, alright."

Josh presses the spoon past his lips, watching him as he eats. The two remained giving eye contact, despite the fact that Josh was the slightest bit uncomfortable. He knew it made Tyler feel secure, so he just rolled with it, pressing another spoonful into his mouth.

"You have really gorgeous eyes." Josh blurted, and Tyler stopped dead in his tracks, covering his eyes.

Josh mentally cursed himself, laying the spoon back down on the tray. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

Tyler shook his head, moving his arms down and reaching forward to rub his hands on Josh's face stubble. For the first time since Josh began working with him, he spoke. "L-like it."

Josh chuckled at his sweet, gentle voice, putting a hand over Tyler's. "Who knows, maybe I'll grow it out for you. Now how about you eat a little more and we get you in a shower?"

Tyler practically eats everything on the tray in about five minutes. Josh had to wonder when the last time he truly ate was.

* * *

 

The shower room looked old, to say the least. But it was big enough to hold eight bathtubs and showerheads, along with curtains for each one.

Josh walked Tyler in slowly, shushing his distressed whines at seeing other patients.

"You'll be fine, honey." Josh reassures, stroking across his arm. He pulls him into a more secluded section of baths, pulling the curtains closed so Tyler felt more safe.

Tyler grumbles, fidgeting with his hospital gown.

"C'mon, it'll be quick and we can go watch cartoons, okay?" Josh pleads, turning on the faucet on and making Tyler flinch.

Tyler shakes his head, backing up against the wall as the white tub filled.

"Come on." Josh repeats, sticking his hand in the water to check the temperature. "You gotta get in."

Tyler hesitates, before slowly stripping off the hospital gown with shaking hands. Gently, he tugs off his white boxers.

Josh noticed he was very frail, and was covered in a very thin layer of what looked like dirt or dark mud of some kind. "Have you been walking out in the courtyard?"

Tyler shook his head.

Josh sighed, rubbing his forehead. Tyler slowly lowered himself in the bath, quickly making him realize the substance in question was black watercolor paint.

"What in the hell?" Josh whispered, grabbing a cloth and dipping it in the water. With careful hands, he rubbed it in sweet smelling soap, and dragged it across Tyler's skin. "Did you mean to cover yourself in this much paint?"

Again, Tyler shook his head.

"Be more careful, my dude." Josh finally scrubbed away the paint on his back, eyes widening at the sight. Tyler's skin was covered in old scars and marks, even some that looked like burns. Josh covered his mouth, tears threatening to spill.

Poor kid, he thought.

Tyler's head turned, looking at Josh curiously. He grits his teeth when he shifts though, because the hot water stings at the spots he scratched at with his long nails.

"It's okay. . .it's okay. . .it's all going to be okay." Josh sets the now stained cloth on the edge of the tub. He grabs the little moveable showerhead, and Tyler instantly panics, nails piercing the porcelain of the tub.

"Just more water, Tyguy. Now lean your head all the way back." Josh strokes down the boy's chest, watching as he hesitates, but tilts back anyway, eyes naturally closing.

Josh allows the running showerhead to drape water over his thick brown hair. Tyler really was beautiful, his peach pink lips spread and eyes closed. He was leaning into the warm water and Josh's fingers dancing across his scalp to rub shampoo in.

"You okay?" He asks, pulling back his hands to get some conditioner after he rinsed his brown locks thoroughly.

Tyler just makes a low growling sound, pouty despite the fact Josh's fingers felt fucking amazing when they returned to his scalp. "Mm." Tyler hummed, sucking on his own bottom lip.

Not very long after, Josh shakes the water off his hands, clearing his throat and standing to his feet. "All clean! Isn't that sooo much better Ty?"

Tyler just grimaced at him.

"Alright, so it isn't the most miraculous thing ever, but you're clean and warm now. Hurray for lowered risk of infection!" Josh mockingly threw his hands up, laughing as he grabbed a fluffy white towel. He almost swore he saw the slightest grin appear on Tyler's face.

Gently, he drapes two towels around Tyler. One around his torso, draping down to his knees, and another over his shoulders. He wanted to make sure all his patients were completely covered after their baths.

"You did so good, Tyler!" Josh cooed, patting his chest right over his heart. "Let's go watch some cartoons in your room, okay?'

Tyler glances back at him for a moment, with an indescribable look in his eyes. Fondness, maybe?

Regardless, the two made their way back into the medical wing, Josh's broad arm on the small of Tyler's back.


	4. Hold

Red. 

Tyler saw soft reds filtering through the backs of his eyelids. Morning.

He shifts, beginning to get up, only to be constricted by something around his waist, keeping him from doing just that.

 Shit, he's tied up again. The mean doctors, they're sending him off to the big hospital and- 

Tyler glances down. The weight around his waist wasn't the familiar straps, it was an arm, curled affectionately around him. He immediately recognized it as Josh, from the bright colored tattoo sleeve dancing down to his wrist. He found himself calming down drastically at that, shifting back into Josh's broad chest with a soft smile.

See, Tyler found a soothing comfort in Josh he hadn't found in the other doctors. Josh had a nurturing capability, paired with his odd trait of actually giving a shit about his patients. That wasn't the only reason, though.

Tyler liked his rough edges, deep voice and his tender eyes the most. They made him shiver, in a good way, unlike the voices that cloud him in the night.

 ** _He's touching you, Tyler._ ** The voices hissed, urging him to lean away, to cower from Josh like he was supposed to.

Speak of the fucking devil.

Tyler curled his fingers against the side of his head, softly hitting it.

Evidently, this slight movement woke Josh, because soon enough there was a hand coiling around his own, easing it back down to his side. "Hey now, you're safe. I'm here." Josh cooed, tracing patterns into his skin with his thumbs.

"Mmmn." Tyler hummed, his voice tender. This was the most safe moment he'd ever had in his lifetime. Even more safe then the times his mother used to hold him when he was very young. 

Used to.

Tyler stiffens. There was the panic.

He wrestles to get out of Josh's grasp, to no avail. He begins to hyperventilate.

Josh sits up, concern in his eyes as he shushes Tyler. "Ty, I need you t' breathe with me, in for five, out for five." His tired voice runs a soothing flame in Tyler's bones, but his body was otherwise unresponsive, still letting out hurried breaths.

Josh continues to guide him through the breathing, opting to pull Tyler's hand up to his chest so he could feel his breath and follow.

Eventually Tyler calms, just giving soft idle coos, climbing back into Josh's arms.

He inhaled the scent of him deeply. Leftover old spice cologne and vanilla undertones. Tyler's insides swirled at the sweet smell, burying his face farther into his neck.

"Easy, tiger. I said breathe, not inhale me." Josh chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. "Are you feeling better now?"

Tyler nods, shutting his eyes and letting himself focus on the same scent, gripping onto the side of Josh's shirt. He was straddling the older man's lap, both long lanky legs on either side of Josh. Safe, he thought.

"Good boy."

Holy shit. Tyler whined again, furrowing his eyebrows. He didn't know why he liked the nicknames so much, it was like Josh had a switch in his brain only he knew how to flip on.

The familiar creak of a door jolted them both to look that direction, a bewildered Jenna wandering in.

"Tyler!" Jenna shrieked, making Tyler cry out and scramble away. "I told you not to touch anyone! I'm so sorry, Josh."

"He wasn't hurting me." Josh saunters over to Tyler, rubbing his hands over his shoulders. "He had a panic attack."

Tyler presses closer at the touch, shivering at the sensitive feeling. He wasn't used to this much affection.

"Oh." Jenna swallows, peering over at the eighteen year old with suspicion. "Well, call me if you have any concerns, alright?"

She closes the door, making the metal hinges chatter slightly. Josh cups Tyler's face in his hands. "You alright little dude?"

Tyler just nuzzles his palm, shutting his deep coffee eyes.


	5. They Called Him Beauty

Josh gripped onto the plastic food tray with purpose, striding into Tyler's room.

"Lunch time, kiddo." Josh punctuated his sentence with two quick raps on the door with his knuckles.

The younger boy poked his poofy soft head of hair out from behind a blanket, his arm curled around himself as his belly growled.

Josh was taken aback, his cheeks were sunken in, and his skin was pale. Did the others even feed Tyler when he left for the weekend?

"I got you some food, I hope you don't mind chicken. It's all they had at the cafeteria." Josh set the tray down on the bedside table with a soft clacking noise of plastic against plastic. "I also got you some ice cream and apple juice. Jenna told me it was your favorite."

Tyler all but launched himself into Josh's lap, his stomach churning at the sight of food.

"Let me sit down first, jeez." Josh chuckled, sitting down across from Tyler on the bed. 

Carefully, Josh guided a bite of chicken into Tyler's open mouth, watching as he took it greedily. Poor thing.

". . .Tyler? Do the other doctors take care of you when I'm gone?"

Tyler paused a moment, swallowed, then shook his head no.

"I'm gonna have to talk to them then. It's sort of rude to just leave everything up to me." Josh set down the spoon, tapping against Tyler's knuckles. "It'd be easier just to come live with me."

It was obvious Josh was joking, but Tyler still eyed him longingly, wondering what'd be like to wake up with Josh every morning- wondering how it felt to feel his tired breath on the back of his neck and not be pulled away by swarms of doctors.

But it was all a silly thought, they'd never let him out of here as long as he lived, or as long as his parents still thought there was something wrong with him.

"Tyler, are you alright? Do you need to talk?"

Tyler's eyes darted upwards, falling on the older man. He shook his head gently, offering up a feigned smile.

"Good." Josh hummed, pressing another bit of food past his lips.

* * *

"You can't just leave him alone like that! It's-it's wrong! It's patient abuse!" Josh raised his voice, slamming his hands down on his boss's desk.

"He'll be fine, I'm sure of it." The greying old man grumbled, moving the pen holder away from Josh's hands so he wouldn't knock it over.

"The boy is malnourished and dehydrated, he hasn't slept in three days because he's scared of the doctors!" Josh plops down in an office chair, his head in his hands. 

"Please sir, try to understand that I worry so much about this patient."

"...Alright, here's the deal. We're putting him into the adult hospital by the end of the month because the nursing staff have a stigma." The man intertwines his own hands to lay on the polished mahogany desk. "He's hurt a lot of people, so there's not much I can do."

"Bullshit." Josh spat, furrowing his eyebrows. "You can't just do that!"

"I can if it's for the safety of our staff, Josh, the boy can't even speak and he's more emotionally destructive than that of a psychological manipulator." 

"He doesn't mean to hurt anyone!"

"How about you take him home yourself, then? Prove he's such a model citizen, and then we can talk."

"Fine. I will." Josh stood, beginning to leave, but he lingered at the door with his hand on the doorknob. "And for the record, Tyler can speak, he just doesn't like talking to assholes."

* * *

 

The next day, Josh wanders into Tyler's room again, the vitals and blood work cart steadily trailing behind him.

"Hey! I told you I'd be back." 

Tyler's eyes lit up upon seeing Josh, but his positive attitude faltered when he saw the needles. Whining, he leaned back, gripping a white pillow to his chest.

Josh frowned, picking up the blood pressure cuff. "Don't worry, the needles aren't going to hurt! These ones are the special ones without all the ouchies." 

The baby talk was usually reserved for the younger patients, but it seemed to help Tyler calm down and almost coddle him. 

Josh took his time with the vitals, carefully wrapping and removing his arm from the blood pressure cuff, scrawling it down on his paperwork next to the appropriate sections.

Tyler still stiffens when he sees the needles come out of their sanitary packaging. "Josh, I don't want it." 

Josh pouted, still preparing the needle. It was the clearest and most heartbreaking thing he had heard Tyler say, but he had a job to do if he wanted paid this week.

"I'm sorry." The older male rubbed down his arm with an alcohol wipe, tying a band around his arm to find a vein. 

"No!" Tyler tried to grip at Josh's shirt frantically.

"Tyler, I have a needle, I need you to stay still." 

"No!" Tyler repeated, louder this time. 

"I don't want to have to secure you.

Despite Josh's arguments, he continued to wrestle, kick and scream. 

Fed up, Josh pushed Tyler down on the bed, legs on either side to keep him still. He slid the needle carefully into the younger boy's soft skin, using his free hand to untie the rubber wrapped around his forearm.

Once the tiny vial was filled with blood, Josh grabbed a cotton ball and gauze from the blood work cart beside the bed, bandaging him up.

Tyler looked frustrated to say the least, it didn't hurt, and he quieted down as soon as he realized this, but it still scared him.

"Tyler, I know you're mad, but I had to do it." Josh gets up from where he was sitting against Tyler, slapping a label onto the vial of blood and tucking it safely into its appropriate place.

The teen crossed his arms over his chest, huffy and pouty and overall having a bad time.

"Cheer up, baby? It was only a little blood." Josh looked at him with sympathy, carding his hands through the other's hair.

There was a knock at the door, and Jenna wandered in, glancing at the two boys. "Everything okay in here? I heard yelling."

"Yeah, yeah, everything is okay. Tyler here just got a little scared is all." Josh smiled down at him, earning a glare that clearly expressed Tyler's resentment.

"Alright, I'll be in the break room." Jenna stated, shutting the door behind her as she leaves the same way she came.

Josh attempted to cheer up Tyler, crawling next to Tyler on the bed.

Tyler promptly scoots away, forcing a frown.

"Tyler." Josh moved in closer, rubbing over the boy's shoulders. "Tyyyyyy. Tyty."

Tyler cracked a smile, and then giggled when he felt Josh's hands inching up his shirt and tickling him. He squealed, arching his back into Josh as a reflex.

"I got you smiling baby boy!" Josh cooed, the tickling easing down into  lingering touches to Tyler's lower abdomen and sides.

Tyler pressed into the touch, almost ready to purr with how good it felt to have Josh's hands on his skin.

Josh's beautiful, calloused hands.

* * *

 

When Josh is tucking him in at about midnight Tyler yanks him down closer by the front of his baby blue scrubs.

Silence lingered in the air, but then, Tyler spoke.

"I need you to stay." 

"O-Oh, okay, well, I guess I could sleep on the chair in the corner but-"

"No." Tyler let go of him, allowing them to make full eye contact again. "Stay."

Something resonated about Tyler's words, but Josh couldn't put a finger on his exact meaning.

Curling his fingers around frail hands. Josh held him, pressing a kiss to his frail knuckles.

"I will, Tyler. I'll stay."


	6. Interrogate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter while I work on the next chapter, which will be filled with nothing but tooth rotting fluff and curious lil tyguy. Should be up later tonight! If not, definitely tomorrow morning.

Preparing Tyler for the leave wasn't one of the hardest things Josh had done, but it was certainly challenging. 

Before he could even instruct him to get ready, he had to explain the situation thoroughly. Tyler was eighteen, he had all rights to refuse this.

"Hey Ty-guy, can we talk?" Josh spoke low and soft as he stepped closer to a half asleep Tyler.

"Mmh." Tyler hums in agreement, blinking open his chocolate mocha eyes.

"There's my boy." Josh smirked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I have a question for you."

 Tyler stirs, letting the blankets drape down to his unclothed hips. He watches Josh with an undetectable expression on his face.

"Would you mind coming home with me? Just for a little while, until you get better?" Josh rubs  his fingers over Tyler's bedsheets, calm strokes up his left outer thigh and calf.

Tyler visibly tenses, but eventually presses up against the affection, hand clasped over Josh's securely. He felt he had full control in this position, therefore it made him feel more comfortable.

"You don't have to decide right now, but I'd like to have an answer today so I can get stuff set up." Josh bit his lip, searching his mind for something to say, and for the first time not drawing a complete blank. "We could take a walk out in the courtyard so you can think about it?"

Tyler hops off the bed and Josh instantly has to avert his eyes, because the sheet previously hanging low on him had fallen off and for God's sake, this boy did not like any sort of clothes.

"Let's get you dressed too, huh?

 


	7. Ready, Set, G-

The outside courtyard was brisk and chilly with the fall air. Josh had lent Tyler a scarf to wrap around his neck along with his hospital protocol coat. Even through his layers of warmth, he still shivered like a hairless dog in snow.

"You alright buggy?" Josh asked after he had seen Tyler trip over his own feet. If only he had a dollar for every pet name.  "You wanna go back in?"

"No." Tyler shot back quietly, plopping himself down on a worn bench covered in crunchy leaves. He marveled at the satisfying noise they made when being squeezed by his frail hand

"No you're not fine or no you don't want to go back inside?" Josh rose an eyebrow, tucking his hands in the pockets of his black overcoat. 

"No." Tyler repeated, tilting his head up to look at the sky.

"You realize that's exactly zero percent helpful right, and not an answer to my question?" Josh chuckles, a leaf falling in his faded pink hair. 

"Look!" Tyler suddenly gasped, jumping up from the bench to point at a tree in front of him.

Josh's eyes followed Tyler's arm all the way up to where he was pointing. Upon a tree branch sat a brown owl, it's downy feathers thick against the cold air.

"You see the owl Ty?"Josh watches Tyler's eyes light up and the boy nods rapidly.

"The ow'!" Tyler giggles, bouncing up and down on his heels.

"Owl." Josh repeats, trying to get Tyler to form the L correctly.

"Ow...all." Tyler huffs, looking to the ground in thought, his eyebrows pinched together.

"Owl. It's okay Ty, just try again. You just haven't spoke in a long time." Josh reassures, walking closer and placing his hands on Tyler's shaking shoulders.

"Ow-l-l" Tyler stutters out, seeming to get gradually more frustrated.

"You almost got it!" Josh beams, moving his hands up to cradle Tyler's face, pausing when he felt tears seep between his fingers. "Uh oh, why are you crying, pretty thing?"

"C-Can't. I want to, but I-I c-can't." Tyler's stutter gradually got worse as more tears fell. 

Josh panicked, wiping his lovely brown eyes with his soft sleeve. Even while crying, Tyler was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

His silky olive skin cascaded with warmth, contrary to the temperature of the outside. In fact, the temperature difference caused Tyler to have a little dash of baby pink highlighting his cheeks, nose, and the tips of his ears.

"Hey, how about we go watch the owl instead. Look! He's so beautiful isn't he?" Josh points at the owl again, successfully distracting Tyler.

Feeling as if he was standing too long, Tyler sits down, followed by Josh.

The silence between them wasn't uncomfortable, in fact, it was kind of beautiful. The quiet was only accompanied by their soft breathing and Tyler's occasional giggles when the bird outstretches it's wings.

"What's so funny, huh punk?" Josh teased, tickling Tyler's sides.

Tyler squeals, giggling louder. The owl flies away, but neither of them really care at this point.

Josh feigns a gasp. "You laughin' more? Think you're so tough?" He continues the tickling, making Tyler squirm and wiggle in his grasp.

Unbeknownst to them, Jenna was watching from not very far away, past the doors leading outside with a wide grin on her face. 

* * *

"So, what do you say, Ty?" Josh hummed, stuffing his scarf in his work bag. It was getting to be later in his shift, and he needed an answer.

"Mm?" Tyler perked his head up from where he was curled under the covers already, cartoons blaring on the tv.

"Do you wanna go home with me?" Josh glanced over at him, walking over to stroke his cheek gently.

Tyler nuzzles him, eyes fluttering closed at the intoxicating warmth Josh's hands brought. "Yes." Tyler forced out through his sleepy haze.

"Really? Crap, I wasn't expecting you to say yes so easily." Josh smiles, kissing the other males knuckles. "I gotta go for right now, but I'll come pick you up in the morning?"

Tyler nods, eyeing him as the kisses traced up to the back of his wrists, and then he was gone, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Again, Tyler was alone. 

* * *

 

"Good morning, good morning!" A voice echoed through Tyler's bedroom, almost making him jump out of his skin. "Finally, you're up sleepyhead."

Tyler palmed at his eyes, grumbling and huffing to himself. He glanced at the clock.

6:00 AM.

"Up? Tyler asks, a look of confusion evident on his face.

"Josh is picking you up at ten, we have to get you showered and everything, silly!" Jenna paces, picking up clothes littered around Tyler's room. "This room is a pig sty."

Tyler flushed at the mention of Josh, hiding his face in a pillow 

Jenna caught on quickly, stuffing all Tyler's spare clothes in a large suitcase. "You love him, Ty?"

Tyler hesitates, his flush only darkens further if possible. "Mhm." He mumbles into the pillow, slowly dragging it away from his crimson red face.

"He loves you too." Jenna zips up the suitcase after carefully choosing an outfit for Tyler. A black t shirt, white boxers, and black jeans. She gathers up a pair of socks and his shoes as well, laying them out on the bed in front of him. "Obey everything he says, and don't be afraid to call me. Josh says he's got the phone your parents recently bought for you, so use that one as much as you'd like."

Tyler nods, glancing over the clothes. It was going to be the first time he wore actual clothes in a very long time. He let his hands run over the fabric.

Soon enough, two older doctors marched in, beckoning for Tyler to follow. "Bath time, Joseph."

* * *

After a bath that was way too rough for anyone's liking, Tyler was pulling on his clothes. He took his time dragging his fingers across the fabrics, much different than the hospital gowns he was used to.

He eventually got fully dressed, staring at himself unimpressed in the mirror across from him.

His clothes hung really low, his weight had decreased rapidly due to neglect, so they draped off of him like bags.

A knock on the door pulled Tyler out of his thoughts, Jenna walking in proudly with some forms clasped to a clipboard.

"Almost ready, Tyler! I just need you to sign here, okay?" The blonde pointed to a red x in three different places, handing Tyler the pen.

Tyler gently took it from her hands, scribbling out a signature that was far from intelligible beside the X's.

"There we go...and we're all set! If you'd follow me that'd be amazing." Jenna clutched the forms like they were her babies, marching right on out of the room with Tyler in tow.

 A group of doctors congregated around the nursing station, laughing and glancing at Tyler.

Tyler just shot them a smile, rolling a suitcase behind him as voices passed around, saying terrible things about both Josh and Tyler.

All of that melted away when he got to the first floor, and saw Josh's kind, smiling face. "Hey buddy! You ready to go home?"

Tyler's eyes widened at the word 'home'. He'd never had a real home since he'd gotten thrown in the hospital, so it was a hollow phrase lacking love or meaning. 

Josh took his bags from his hands, directing him outside to a sleek black car 

The sun was shining brightly, Tyler noticed, taking his first step out of hospital bounds since he was ten.

 


	8. Crybaby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since tyler is eighteen in this, the little memory is set ten years ago, 2006. Also, I apologize in the lack of updates, I was on vacation! follow me on tumblr @ joshdunistherealest and bug me for updates!

Josh's house smelled like a cinnamon apple and pumpkin pie swirl, unlike the cherry vanilla scents he'd smelled in his childhood home. The walls held pictures and other memorabilia from movies and old bands long forgotten. Tyler was the first to notice he had a wide array of coffee mugs and teacups alike. His favorite was one that sat alone on the counter, it had a bright yellow giraffe on it, the handle of the cup being it's long spotted neck.  
  
"Where do you want to sleep?" Josh asked when he realized the conversation had gone stagnant at the threshold of the door and on-forth into the actual house.   
  
Tyler rubbed his eyes, suddenly getting fatigued at the mention of sleep. "I-I-I wanna...s-sl-s-sleep next to you." he mumbled brokenly, twisting a strand of his own hair around his slender finger.  
  
"Oh...okay." Josh's voice got slightly quieter, and he quickly glanced down the hall, indicating at something Tyler didn't quite understand. "Uh, let me go clean up in there a little."   
  
Tyler nods slightly, glancing at Josh's hands. They were big, soft, and calloused hands. More importantly, they were warm, and all Tyler wanted to do right now was curl up in his heavy warmth.   
  
Watching Josh hurry down the long hallway, he dozes off a little, glancing over at the couch, and yearning for the welcoming softness the couch possessed. He plopped down a bit unceremoniously, curling into the scent that blatantly smelled just like Josh, _Josh **Josh**._ He was asleep before his head hit the constellation throw pillow.  
  


* * *

"Hey Ty, I'm all finished in there if-" Josh pauses at the doorway to the living room, catching the sight of a sleepy, resting Tyler all curled up on his couch. He immediately breaks out in a wide grin, taking the red blanket off the back of the couch and draping it over Tyler.  
  
In all honesty, the sight of a sleeping Tyler was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes upon. Drooling and even a slight bit sweaty, Tyler looked like a modern day goddess. Josh leans down ever so slightly, nudging his lanky arm back up onto the couch and onto his chest. The older male pressed a soft kiss to Tyler's forehead, running a thumb across his cheek. "Sleep tight, baby boy."  
  
Taking his bags, Josh continues down the hallway to put his stuff in it's appropriate place, but not without taking a quick glance back at Tyler and physically bubbling up inside with feeling.   
  


* * *

  
November 8th, 2006.  
  
From the start, Tyler had known he was different from the other children his age. Not one kid wanted to play with him, or talk to him on the playground. He was often left out of games like tag, or hide and seek. When he'd ask someone to be his friend, more often than not it ended in them screaming and running away.  
  
No one wanted to play with the weird kid who talked to himself and covered himself in black paint every day at school out of impulse.  
  
This day in particular, Tyler had tried to approach a pretty girl at recess. The girl's name was Marie, if he'd remembered correctly. She had beautiful curly strawberry blonde hair, and played tether-ball almost religiously.   
  
He watched her for a while, eyes tracing along the ball swirling around and around on the pole. She beat every single girl that would challenge her at the sport.  
  
When she went to get the water she'd set down conveniently beside Tyler, Marie grimaced, laughing with another short brunette. Tyler decided this was the best chance he had to talk to her.  
  
"Hi, I'm uh- I'm Tyler! D'you wanna come play with me?" Tyler knew he was stumbling across words as early as this age, he'd even had a small slur, but what Marie had followed with would affect him forever.   
  
"Why would I play with a boy who can't even speak right? Get lost." Marie walked off to continue her game, her little friend following behind. The friend in question didn't quite think Marie's words were enough, so she splashed cold water right in his face, giggling as he began crying.  
  
"Aww, look! He really is a crybaby!" A couple girls said in unison, catching the attention of many other students who as well, began laughing at him.  
  
Tyler sobbed brokenly, wiping his eyes with his small hands. A cloud of embarrassment and sadness washed over him, and god, did he run. He ran up and off the playground, ignoring the panic of the teachers yelling after him.  
  
He ran until his legs burned and his chest heaved no longer with sobs, but from lack of air. Not one person batted an eye when he collapsed beside a tree in a neighboring park.   
  
Tyler tucked his legs to his chest, sobbing and leaning into the tree trunk for support, the dead leaves crunching under him. He cried, and cried, and cried until there simply wasn't any more tears left to leak out of his eyes. From above his spot on the ground, he heard a loud voice, suspiciously sounding alike his own. Tyler's head shot up, he couldn't believe what he was seeing.   
  
A boy, dressed in his same clothes, and identical features stood above him, reaching out an arm to help Tyler up. "You're gonna get your clothes dirty, you gotta get up."  
  
Tyler furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but accepted the help to his feet, stumbling a bit. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Blurry, I'm you." The boy, Blurry spoke, a mischievous grin on his face.   
  
"No you're not, I'm me, silly." Tyler let out a bubbly giggle at the ridiculous statement, sniffling.  
  
"Oh, but I am. I'm you, you're me, we're us. We're indestructible." Blurry rambled, folding his arms across his chest.  
  
"What's indestructab- inestructible-ble." Tyler struggled, ruffling the top of his own hair.  
  
"Indestructible, it means you can't lose, duh." Blurry grabs out for Tyler's hand again, intertwining his fingers with the other boy. "You can't let them call you a crybaby, if you're a crybaby, I'm a crybaby."  
  
"I can't help it, they do it and- and I can't stop 'em."  Tyler mumbled almost under his breath.  
  
"Then hit 'em Tyty! Make 'em sorry." Blurry smiles goofily, jagged teeth not unlike Tyler's showing.  
  
Tyler glances down at his feet, a guilty feeling sitting at the pit of his belly. "Mommy won't like that."  
  
"Mommy doesn't like us anyway, didn't you hear her on the phone with her friends?"   
  
Blurry was, sadly, correct. A couple weeks prior, Tyler had gone downstairs in the middle of the night to get some water. Seeing his mother in the kitchen, Tyler naturally bounded over to her, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the phone tucked to her ear. "Tyler? Oh yeah, the kid's fine, but I kind of want him to just disappear sometimes, you know? He gets in these moods where he asks so many questions and his little voice just pierces into my ears."   
  
Tyler just waddled back up to his room after that, trying to will away the lump in his throat.  
  
"So? Whadaya say?" Blurry asked, squeezing Tyler's hand and pulling him out of his thoughts.  
  
"Huh?" Tyler tilts his head to the side.  
  
"I asked you if you wanted to come with me, we could go anywhere we want! No one's lookin', no one cares about us." Blurry began leading him in the direction of the duck pond, his eyes locked straight ahead. (and black, Tyler noticed.)  
  
"Oh, okay." Tyler sighed, a bit saddened by Blurry's words, but they seemed true to him.  
  
"Sweet!" Blurry chimed, smirking as he pulled his arm around Tyler's shoulder  
  
Not one person questioned Tyler walking alone down the cracked cement sidewalk near the pond, talking to himself. They just told themselves the same thing.  
  
Tyler was the weird kid no one wanted to be around.  
  


 


	9. Build me up, buttercup

Tyler woke up to the soft sound of a record player playing the steady beats of a song from the late 60's. Confused, his fluffy head darted up to look behind the couch where the sound was coming from.   
  
Josh was sat at a desk in the corner, tapping his foot along to the music and even humming slightly. Tyler smiled, smooshing his cheek up to the couch.  
  
Josh must've heard him stir because he glanced right at him, chin propped up on his hand, wearing glasses that Tyler didn't know he had. "Hey babydoll, sleep well?"  
  
"Mm." Tyler hummed in acknowledgement.  
  
"Sweet." Josh turned back toward his work, scribbling out something unintelligible from Tyler's viewpoint. "Just gimme a sec' and I'll make some dinner for us, alright? I have to turn this in tomorrow at the hospital and-" Josh groaned, tilting his head back in irritation. "Shit, I can't leave you alone, can I?"  
  
Tyler frowns, quickly moving so he was sitting on his knees, chest pressed against the couch. "I-I'll b-b-be o-k-kay."   
  
Josh groans, tilting his head back and giving Tyler a view of the way his adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed. Tyler must've sensed his frustration, because the scrawny male was soon bolting up from his seat, and wrapping his arms around the other male, pressing his face into his chest.  
  
Naturally, Josh giggles, scratching at the hairs at the nape of the younger male's neck.   
  
The Smith's record ends, and Josh is the second one to get up. "What do you wanna listen to?" The curly haired man speaks, briefly peeking over his shoulder from where he was standing in front of his record box.  
  
Tyler furrows his eyebrows; he hadn't really listened to music since before he had been committed, and that was a little over eight years ago. For lack of a better answer he just shakes his head.  
  
"Alrighty, I guess I'll be picking today. Don't worry, if this isn't your style then maybe...." Josh presses a finger to his lips in thought. "This one."   
  
He pops the unknown record into the player, skillfully positioning the needle so it would play from the beginning. Josh had made plans before to get better sleeves for his records, but he never got around to it. Maybe it was laziness, or maybe it was because he was fired from the only record store in town and he was definitely not going back.  
  
Soon enough, The Foundations begins blasting through the speakers.  
  
Tyler beamed, his eyes going wide in realization that _he knows this song_ completely by heart. It was _Build Me Up, Buttercup_ , a song his mother used to hum around the house when he was a kid.  
  
Josh turned, gesturing Tyler closer with a finger. "C'mere pretty boy, I wanna show you something."  
  
Tyler quickly turned beet red, but reluctantly stepped closer until he was inches away from Josh. The eighteen year-old's eyes darted pretty much everywhere except Josh, for fear of him seeing how embarrassed he truly was. It was a silly thought, of course, because Josh loved every inch of him, rose red face and all.   
  
"You ever danced with a guy two years older than you in his living room before?" Josh joked, taking Tyler's arms and placing them around his neck. Tyler stayed silent by choice, biting his bottom lip.  
  
"Well, you're about to." Josh begins slowly swaying with the music, his hands finding their way to Tyler's waist.   
  
Tyler looked down at his _big, warm hands_ and gushed, burying his face in Josh's neck in a mix of frustration and fondness.  
  
The highlight of his night had to be when Josh began singing, words rolling off his tongue like amber colored tidal waves meant to carry him home. His voice was as warm as the honey candle he had burning on his desk, and coffee wrapped in frostbitten hands.  
  
The last chorus rolled around as a blur. Tyler's senses clouded with the feeling of being so close and smelling the aftershave on his neck, even the leftover shampoo smell from his shower. Everything was just so overwhelming and he almost felt like he could cry.  
  
Deep breaths echoed in the cage of Josh's chest, and Tyler could hear every one of them.  
  
The song was quickly approaching a close, but Josh's hands never loosened a bit. He sang a little bit quieter during the last verse, smiling down at the shy boy now pretty much clinging to him for dear life. "So build me up, buttercup...don't break my heart." Josh whispered, kissing the top of his head.  
  
In all honesty, Tyler felt completely shattered, but the good kind people write about in books about dying girls and lost loves everyone seems to read. The kind of books they cherish for years and hold to their chests because maybe, just maybe, someone feels just as broken as they do.  
  
Josh was that person for Tyler, and he couldn't quite believe it, but he felt like he was slowly falling in love. It might've just been the pure idea, or the "honeymoon phase" of falling for someone, but he felt like he was something he'd never felt before.   
  
Wanted, cherished...indestructible.   
  
Tyler darts his head up to glance at Josh with wide mocha eyes that shone more than Tiffany diamonds ever would. "Y-Y-You're s-special, Josh." he croaked, pressing a cold, shaking hand to the side of his face.   
  
The temperature change made Josh shiver, so he places a hand over Tyler's effectively warming it up. "I could say the same about you, Tyler." Josh breaks out in a wide grin, chuckling lowly. "I mean, not every day do I get an impulse to randomly dance with someone in my living room."  
  
Tyler laughs, a small snort sound escaping with it. In shock, he clamps a hand over his mouth.  
  
"Did you just..." Josh began, his Cheshire grin only growing more goofy and contagious. "Oh my god, you're so frickin' cute."  
  
"No." Tyler tries his best to keep a straight face, hiding the laughter bubbling up in his tummy.   
  
Josh bites his bottom lip, but it doesn't stop him from blurting out. "Do you mind if I kiss you?"  
  
He doesn't get a response, but he does get a soft pair of lips moving against his, and a hand fisting through his hair. It felt inexperienced, given Tyler had never kissed anyone, let alone another boy, in his life. It was wet, sloppy and horrible by anyone else's standards, but to them it felt like descending into heaven, draped in clouds.  
  
Without thinking, Josh slides his tongue out to glide against Tyler's bottom lip. The younger boy huffs through his nose, opening his lips to allow Josh's tongue to intrude.   
  
Soon enough, Tyler was being pressed to a wall with a hand up his shirt, gripping his hip so hard he swore he was going to have bruises. Tyler moans, but immediately jolts back from the kiss, fearing he did something wrong.  
  
Josh had never looked so predatory and driven before, moving to mouthe at Tyler's neck weakly. His body rocks up against Tyler in steady rhythms.   
  
Tyler all but yelps, gripping the front of Josh's shirt with the hand previously in his hair, the feeling made his body react in ways he wasn't ever really familiar with. "W-Wait." He chokes out, shoving at the older man's chest.  
  
Josh immediately backs up, his hands back down at his sides. "You okay? You wanna stop?"  
  
Tyler begrudgingly nods, pressing his thighs together tightly to will away the "Weird feeling" he was getting in his lower abdomen.  
  
"Alright, that's fine, I get it." Josh exhales, running a hand through his curly hair. "Sorry, uh...hey, how about we go fix dinner, okay?"  
  


* * *

Josh ended up fixing macaroni and cheese, given it was the only thing left in his house. The last time he'd went shopping was about a month ago, and barely got anything of the particularly 'healthy' variety. Med School was hard enough to pay for even with the financial aid, so he wasn't about to spend it all on pretentious level pasta, alright?  
  
Tyler seemed to like it though, scarfing down about two bowls within five minutes.   
  
"Woah dude, chew your food maybe?" Josh chuckles, only halfway into his first bowl.   
  
" 's r-really good" Tyler mumbled through a mouthful, laughing at how muffled and weird he sounded.  
  
"Ew." Josh feigned disgust, playfully scrunching up his nose at Tyler. "Are you that excited to go to bed?"  
  
Tyler's expression dropped instantly, still quietly chewing. "D-don't w-w-wanna."  
  
"You got to, I promise I'll be right next to you." Josh reassured, rubbing calming circles into Tyler's back. "I'll even leave the TV on, you can have the nice pillow."  
  
Tyler folds his arms over his chest, swallowing his food and furrowing his eyebrows.   
  
"Grumpy." Josh teases, pressing multiple gentle kisses to his temple. "Are you done?"   
  
Tyler nods, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout.   
  
"I'll give you a piggy back ride if you stop pouting."  
  
"D-deal."  
  



	10. Blue Moon Motel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: FLASHBACKS OF SEXUAL ABUSE. please don't read if you are sensitive to such things

Tyler looked himself in the mirror. He didn't know why Josh needed a mirror this big, he always looked good, so why would he need to check so much. 

Staring at his blank expression in the mirror he starts to pick at a scab on his chin. 

_"Don't pick, Tyler"_

Tyler's hand drops again back down to his sides, his mother's words stinging into his chest like the surgical needles he sometimes saw other patients sneak into their rooms. 

_"You're mama's beautiful boy. "_

Nausea. 

He leans on the countertop for leverage. The frail boy's stomach lurched, the scorching heat of a flashback burning into a vision. 

He remembered his mom's study, hands wandering too, too close to his body. 

_"Shh, you don't wanna wake Zack, do you?"_

_"Be good. "_

Tyler cupped his fingers over his mouth, a sob breaking loose from his chest. He couldn't see himself in the mirror anymore, just the piercing eyes of his mother and a guilty feeling deep in his belly. 

_"You've always been so handsome. "_

_He was ten when his mother first put a hand on him. She was drunk, and smelled of Sherry and a cigarette._

_Her sweater was thick wool under his fingertips, and her manicured nails dug into his skin._

_Only ten, and he's unclean now._

_His dad comes home, and tries to cool his blotchy skin with a cold, moist washcloth._

_Everything itched._

_He begs his father not to leave again, but to no avail. He's alone again. His mother is upstairs._

_"Help mommy, would you?"_

Tyler picks at a scab on his chin. 

_"Stay still."_

Tyler bleeds. 

_"It won't hurt."_

"N-no." Tyler chokes, his skin breaking out in hives. 

_Itch, itch itch._

A hand wraps around his wrist and he screeches, hitting the culprit with all his might. "No!"

_"Shh, shh, shh."_

"I d-d-don't want it, I-I don't!" Tyler pulls at his clothes, they feel so tight. 

"Tyler, shh, shh, shh. Easy, honey. " Josh's  voice breaks his panic, his head being pushed against a broad chest. 

Tyler screams anyways, though, bubbly tears dripping into his mouth and making him taste salt. His whines are muffled by Josh's chest. 

" Hey now. " Josh rocks him back and forth in his arms,  curled around his frail shoulders. He hums a gentle lullaby under his breath.

Tyler just chokes on a sob, gagging a little from how exasperated he is. He tries to swat at Josh, heaving.

"Breathe, okay? " Josh continues humming, pressing Tyler's assaulting hand gently to his chest. 

Tyler's skin feels clammy and hot, as if he were sick. He drops his sobs down to a quiet background noise, humming along with Josh  once he gets to feel his breathing fall in sync. 

A kiss is pressed to Tyler's temple, soon followed by a familiar feeling, a damp washcloth. But this time, it's met to his cheek with gentle hands, not the rough scrubbing he's gotten so accustomed to. 

"Talk to me honeybunch. " Josh retreats back a little, allowing eye contact with Tyler. It was growing slightly more comfortable to look into his eyes each time. 

"Don't l-l-let her hurt me." Tyler shakes, arms looping around the older males neck for a sense of safety.

Josh furrowed his eyebrows. There had been no one in the house whilst he was gone. Who could hurt him?

"Who's gonna hurt you, Ty?"

"C-can't tell-" Tyler pants, ticklish wetness seeping down Josh's shoulder from tears. 

Josh rubs at Tyler's hips and belly. "Well, I'm never going to let anyone hurt you ever again. It's why I brought you here with me, Tyler. "

"Here, let's run you a bath. "

* * *

 

Josh's work scrubs drip with cooling bathwater as he towels Tyler off with a fluffy towel, catching his wandering eyes. The boy was looking straight at him with an unknown expression he just couldn't put his finger on. 

"What is it?"

Tyler shakes his head, looking straight down at his soaked feet still in the tub. 

Josh rubs his thighs down with the towel, earning a shaky whine. He raises a questioning eyebrow, but continues to dry him everywhere else. 

This boy sure was something else. 


	11. Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! : this chapter includes a seizure.

"Tyler, eat your food. " Josh hummed, kissing the side of the younger boy's head as he glared towards a slowly cooling breakfast. 

Tyler stayed silent, scratching at the spot on his head where Josh's lips previously were. 

"Come on, be my big strong boy?" He curls his arms around his tiny frame, playfully tickling at his skeletal hips. 

"Mm! " Tyler squeals,  giggling and leaning forward against the table. 

"There's my smile!" Josh retreats,  turning around to pull an apple from a bowl on the counter. "You were 112 pounds this morning, let's aim for 125."

As much as he was slowly falling in love with Tyler day by day, he still had a job to do. The most important of his daily tasks was to be observant of his weight. 

Tyler had gained six pounds since he began staying with Josh, and he praised him greatly for it. 

Digging in almost immediately, Tyler scarfed down four pancakes and three strips of bacon. "A-All done! " he chimed happily.

"Knew you could do it baby boy!" Josh grinned, peppering him with kisses again. "You just like to whine because it's early and you have to be grumpy. "

Tyler protested with a weak frown, knitting his eyebrows together in an expression resembling a fake pout. 

 Josh swayed behind Tyler a little, his arms again looping around his waist. 

Suddenly, Tyler's facial expression falls, and his shoulders hunch up. 

"Ty?" Josh asks warily, brushing hair out of the boy's eyes. 

It's only when Tyler begins to convulse that Josh realizes what's going on. 

"Shit, shit shit." Josh's eyes widen, gently placing his tiny squirmy body on its side on the tile floor. "Stay with me baby, come on. "

He continues to shake and squirm violently, eyes wide open. They were unblinking, glazed over like he'd seen the red, fiery glimpse of death. 

In a frenzy, Josh dials an ambulance and grasps the phone tightly in his hands. He places a gentle hand on Tyler's waist, rocking him softly in his arms. For a minute he pondered the thought of losing Tyler, his heart sinking to the floor in jagged pieces. 

The operator on the other end of the phone seems kind when she picks up, almost too kind for the job she has, but she carefully leads him through until he hears sirens outside. 

Soon there's people crowding around him, and Josh can't help but throw his caution to the wind and sob into his open hands. 

"Sir, can you get up for me?" An EMT with strawberry blonde hair grasps at Josh's arm and he swears he could've punched her. Not on purpose of course.

He refuses to leave the side of an unconscious,pale Tyler.

His skin is blue, he's heaving. 

"We need to get him to the hospital." The girl guides Josh to scoot away from Tyler . 

The crowd of doctors and nurses alike pull Tyler up on a gurney. A creaky, metal gurney that groaned as it was pulled from the side. He looked so peaceful now, but was so still you could mistake him for a corpse. 

Josh was hysterical, tears rolling down his face. "Is he going to be okay? " He whimpers as they pull Tyler out the door.

"Would you like to ride with us?" A tall man asks, lifting the gurney into the back of the ambulance. He avoided his question, but Josh didn't find the time to care. He just wanted Tyler.

"Yeah, I-" Josh looks down at his feet, huffing. "Yes, please. "

Hopping up onto the vehicle, he sits on a bench beside the gurney, clasping his hand around Tyler's own frail fingers. His free hand goes to Tyler's hair, lovingly carding through it. 

"You're going to be okay, buddy. It's all going to be okay." Josh repeats over and over, pressing gentle kisses to the side of his lips between each sentence. He notices his lips are cold, just like the rest of his skin. 

His breath is ragged, soon to be aided by a breathing mask once Josh pulls away. 

"Please, be okay. "


	12. Two weeks

Two weeks. Fourteen days. Three hundred and fourty six hours. 

That's how long it took Tyler to fully recover from what they called a "severe allergic reaction to medication". He kind of blames himself a bit, he should have known. 

Now, sitting by the side of the tiny figure wrapped up again in a hospital gown that barely fit. As disheartening as it is to see him in this hospital again, he'd rather see him here than in a coffin. 

"Hi honeybee. " Josh chirps,  running a finger across Tyler's cold cheek. 

"Mmn." Tyler whines, pressing into his hand. They hadn't been able to be this close since all of the nurses watched them like a hawk. Any sign of PDA and Tyler would be committed to the psych ward again. 

"I know baby, I'll hug you when we get home I swear. " The older male leant over the hospital bed,  staring deep into Tyler's expressive eyes. They weren't as glassy now, almost brighter. Josh liked that. "You're excited huh?"

Tyler nods, squeezing the pillow under his head. "Want you t-to hold..." He begins but is quickly interrupted by Jenna storming into the room with a clipboard. 

"Alright, trouble. " She clicks her pen and sits on the edge of the bed. Josh straightens his posture quickly, trying to look casual.

"I've got you a new prescription, and it looks like Josh just has to sign a few forms and you're free to go!" Jenna clicks the pen again and hands both to Josh. "Sign at the dotted lines, blah, blah, blah,  you get the memo. "

Josh scribbles out his chicken scratch signatures on all four of the bleak, white papers. He hands her back the clipboard and the pen, smiling down at Tyler. 

The boy gently gets up, squinting out the window before standing shakily. He wobbles and Josh puts an arm around his waist. 

Jenna pats Josh on the shoulder, lingering a bit too long for comfort. She then leaves the room without another word.

"Now, let's get you showered and changed, shall we?"


End file.
